At first i was excited, i love trying new things and experiencing what others do. Then I started to think about it properly. I was becoming homeless. No food, No drink, No money and definitely no mobile phone. I started to become nervous and doubting if i'd made the right decision.
Saturday 15th November 2014 comes around and I prepare to leave the house. Usually, I'm dressed in nice clothes, my hair and makeup is done and i'm smiling as I walk along the street listeing to the music coming out of my Beats that is plugged in to my iPhone. Today however, I'm in old clothes, with greasy hair and no make up or technology. As far as the 21st Century is concerned... i'm naked. At this point I start to feel invisible. The lady who usually serves me in my local shop doesn't even make eye contact. gone is the smile and 'Hello'.
I head off towards Marble Arch to meet the organiser of this experience and my friend. I notice that men are not making eye contact with me, this is strange. But what I find even stranger is that women are. One woman even smiles at me. a slow 'poor you' smile but a smile all the same.
Just before the experience started we sat in Marble Arch and had something to eat. we were looking around at the people and more importantly the pigeons. There were a LOT flying about and rushing to get to the food people were throwing on the ground. After I had finished my sandwich I ripped up the crusts and called the pigeons over. As i watched the pigeons I laughed. not a funny laugh but a realisation laugh. Londoners are happier to feed pigeons then people.
So 3 of us set off down Oxford Street to find a doorway or step to sit on. We had no money so if we wanted to eat later we needed to get some from somewhere and stealing wasn't an option. We found a recess out side a shop. close enough so we were safe but far enough apart so we could get the full experience. I sat on my sleeping bag and I had a sign asking for food or change. This is where things started to get interesting and you get to see things 'from the other side'. People will read your sign but dont make eye contact, you find some people look guilty when they look at you, some look down on you with disgust and some look like they want to take pity on you but think better of it and scurry off.
I realised I become very hard to the sistuation very quickly. Which is a god send because It was a hard situation to deal with apart from two people that restored my faith in humanity. The man came first - he was on a motorbike in the traffic of Oxford street. We made eye contact, I smiled, he nodded. Next thing, hes parked his bike in the middle of the road, got off, walked over to me and given me £5, told me to take care of myself and gone on his way. From the muffled voice in his crash helmet he sounded Eastern European. Was this what was done in Eastern Europe? I'm not sure but i'll try to find out. The Second, was a lady. I had seen her earlier and she walked passed. I must have played on her mind because she returned with a sandwich. I didnt know what to do or say and I hugged her. I felt her body stiffen but she smiled.
We were then approached by the police. Begging is ILLEGAL in the UK. Something our organiser had encouraged but failed to mention. We were asked to show ID which we did immediately and the officer took our details. Our organiser refused to show ID. Legally he didnt have to but in my opinion it was unnecessary to deny the officer. This made me uncomfortable and a distrust started to build. My friend and I decided that we wanted to do something else. Something that was really going to help those who needed it. And a 'discussion' started that ended up splitting the group. My friend and I decided that we were going our own way.
We spent the next 2 hours wandering around looking for organsisations to help - Shelter, Crisis, St mungos, including various smaller organisations and soup kitchens. no one wanted us to help. we were told 'call us monday to friday 9-5 and fill in a form' blah blah blah. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!? no wonder no one helps anymore. with all the red tape in place its almost impossible to help. we needed a plan B - and fast.
We decided to buy sandwiches from Tescos and go on the look out for homeless people. We couldn't do much but at least it was something. We walked and walked and ended up at Tower of London. We saw what was left of the Poppy Memorial. deciding we could'nt help anyone in that part of London we headed back towards 'Home' or in this case the floor outside a shop in Piccadilly Circus.
On the way back we stopped to give a lovely man a sandwich and to have a chat. We were outside the Ritz and I was expecting to be moved on. Turns out the hotel helps local homeless with sandwiches and other food, as does the local Pret. This made me smile. A little bit more faith in humanity has been restored. Turns out this man was an ex-soldier (heart starts to break), he looks like my grandad (heart breaks some more) and he loves his best friend (heart breaks) who happens to be curled up with a bone on the floor by his feet. We spent about half an hour having a conversation with this man. I should probably rephrase, we spent half an hour listening to this man. He hardly paused for breath and had so much to say. He didnt ask for anything from us apart from our time and at that point that's exactly what we had to give.
If you've never been to Piccadilly late on a saturday night then let me describe the scene. There is lots of traffic, lots of (mainly drunk) people, TFL workers smooching about in their Hi-Viz jackets getting ready for work and lots of somewhat amusing chaos.
At this point we realised what it was like to feel vulnerable. We were on the floor, if things kicked off, we were on the back foot. Apart from someone trying to sell my friend drugs, some idiot taking pictures of us and some bell-end taking his shirt off to show his (badly formed, steroid induced) muscles. He had moobs and it made me chuckle. There was also a crazy sweet brazilian girl who was looking for friend, needed to charge her phone and wanted a cigerette. the first one was fine but when you come back and ask for a second you're going to piss me off. Who asks a homeless person for a cigerette?!? Another young lad stopped by and we explained what we were doing. Turns out his brother had a drug problem and if it wasnt for a loving family he would have ended up on the streets... or worse. My highlight for this part of the evening was of a couple who tried to give us money. We explained what we were doing. Banter followed and they went on their way.
At this point I was thankful that there was no rain and to be honest it was rather a nice evening. we were lucky, someone was looking down on us. It was getting late and we decided we needed to find somewhere to sleep for the night. St James Park was the decided location. i dont think either of us wanted to take up a doorway incase we were taking up someones regular haunt. We found a couple of benches in the park and tried to sleep. I can look after myself and in my day to day life i'm usually at ease in most situations. I suddenly became VERY uncomfortable and somewhat paranoid. We joked about looking like Meerkats. I was up and down, up and down. A police car sped in to the park with its blues on. I think we both had the same thought 'Fuck!'. Turns out we weren't in trouble or in fact any interest to the police. We saw two people sprint across the park followed by the police car so I presume they were already in persuit. Thinking about this now it makes me feel so sad. I'm writing this with tears in my eyes. I wasn't knowingly doing anything wrong, I just wanted to rest my aching body yet I felt like a naughty child. I felt bad and that I shouldn't be there. I asked my friend if he minded moving. I knew St James Park quite well there were two benches in a more tree covered area. As 5pm struck on Big Ben, the temperature dropped RAPIDLY. We decided that if we put the benches together (like a double bed cot) we could sleep close under the sleepin bag and increase body temperature. It done nothing. We were freezing and there was nothing we could do to change that. We needed to move before we literally started to freeze and became curious of what Piccadilly looked like at 7am on a Sunday morning. As we walked back we noticed that there were a lot of runners and dog walkers. I started to feel resentment towards people. Who the F comes out at this time in the morning if they don't have to? Piccadilly was now quite quiet but we couldnt find a place to sit or sleep because of the high levels of sick and urine. We ended up sleeping for about 30minutes in Leicester square. we layed on a stone bench, sharing a 'pillow' and drifted in to a very concious sleep. We both noticed how cold physically travels through your body. When you're cold at how your body feels cold but when you're outside you can physically feel your spine. It's so weird. we were literally frozen to the bone. Sad thing is, it wasnt that cold. We're about to have a VERY cold winter and my heart goes out to anyone in those conditions.
It was almost time to call it a day on the experience. We'd lived homeless for 24(ish) hours. We survived it but I'm not sure i could have done 48 hours. As we walked back through leicester square and Piccadilly Circus I noticed how clean things had become. Thanks to the street cleaners, various machines and chemicals all evidence that fortunate people had thrown up/piss themselves / thrown litter on the floor had been hidden. All that was left on the clean streets were several dirty sleeping bags homing homeless people on view for all the world to see. Maybe we should spend the money we used on cleaning bubblegum and sick off the streets on helping the homeless... Use the cleaning crews as enforcement officers. Fine the rich, help the poor. Just a thought.
The next time you see a homeless person on the street remember
1) They are freezing to the extent it hurts
2) They are drinking to keep warm and get through the day. If I had the money I would have been in the shop buying whiskey quicker then you could blink.
3) If you go to judge them, remember...You dont know their story so get off your high horse. You have no right to judge.
4) 24 hours after the experience, after having hot meals, cuddles from my family and a nice warm bed to sleep 8hours+, i'm still mentally and physically drained. I was only homeless for 24 hours and it ruined me and i'm a strong person with only minor problems in life.
5) They sleep all day because its too cold to sleep at night not because they are lazy.
6) Its easier then you think to go from your position in society to theirs.
7) One guy was grateful for a sandwich, I offered another but he refused. He had nothing. Would you have taken another?
8) Homeless people are PEOPLE.
9) NO ONE would choose to be homeless, believe me, it is not fun.
So ask yourself this.... At what point of having everything, do you have nothing to give? Your time is the most powerful currency in the world. Give it away sometime.
I would like to say a big thank you to
My friend Nick (you can read his version of events HERE) for sharing the experience and putting up with me for 24 hours
The Met Police, British Transport Police and City of London police for being supportive and helpful. We understand you were just doing your jobs and you done it with kindess and understanding.
To all the members of the public who cared enough to stop. All your money and food was donated to the homeless.
For the homeless for helping us, in ways I can't explain.
Until next time,
Much Love
Dee x
