Dreams and Tomorrows

We've all been guilty of putting things off and using the phrase "i'll do it tomorrow..." but just like "i'll start the diet on Monday..." - Tomorrow never comes.

When I was 13 years old my Nannie was diagnosed with cancer. It was a massive blow for the family as the original diagnosis was sore throat and an ear ache. Within a year we'd gone from smiles to funerals. She was such a beautiful kind soul and was taken way in her early 50s.

My Grandad, who has always been my hero, gave up work to care for my Nannie. He was such a hard working man and even at my young age I could tell how much he loved my Nannie. Fast forward 12 years and i'm sitting on the sofa with Gramps telling him i'm going to start my own business. Everyone else told me I was mad, asked if I was scared or were not sure if i was serious. My Gramps on the other hand told me that I had a big decision to make - Would I be the boss who was a friend or not... Because once I made up my mind this would be the basis of my career. The way I treated others would lay out my future. The guy was a genius. During the same conversation he told me that he was proud of me. I had to try not to cry. He then explained that when he was younger he always dreamed of opening his own construction company but for reasons I won't say here, he never "got round to it". I could tell that he was so happy that i'd decided to follow the dream he never did. At the end of the conversation he offered me access to what would be my inheritance. I took £300 and headed off in to the hard world of self employment.

Sadly my Grandad passed away in 2012, at the age of 70, never realising his full potential or achieving his dreams. I vowed that I would never do the same. For myself and for him.

My Nannie was taken away young - A massive reminder that our tomorrows are not guaranteed.
My Grandad lived with regret at not following his dream - A huge reminder that we are here only once and we should make the mistakes, take the risks and do the things we want to do. I was lucky to have an amazing relationship with my Nannie and Gramps and i'll always use them to guide me through life.

Please don't make the same mistakes. Do what you want to do - FOR YOU!
You'll be much happier on your death bed laughing about the time you had to live on baked beans for a month because you took a risk rather than playing it safe. You're also not guaranteed a tomorrow so start living for today. I don't want to depress you all just before xmas but I do want to make you think before you plan your 2016.

Make it count.
Much Love
Dee xx

Twitterz - The Facebook

The many faces of self-employment

I'm lucky enough to know a lot of people all over the world for various different reasons. Friends, family, work, acquaintances etc etc etc

I want to focus on a rather special breed of people today - The Self Employed.

After a conversation with a good friend of mine recently  (who also happens to be self employed), I got thinking. Ouch.

Out of all the people I know, self employed people wear the most masks. They are the most two faced people on the planet. Now, before you go organising a hate campaign against me, let me explain what I mean.

If an employed person feels ill and they don't go to work the company / team / office cover the job and the world continues turning.
If a self employed person calls in and can't work. hahahahahahahaha sorry that doesn't happen. Self employed people will put on a mask and just get on with it. We're a different breed. If we stop, the world stops with us. or at least our world does. unless we're lucky to have a business partner or the like.

So why do these situations make us two faced? Well the definition of two faced is "someone who is insincere or who acts one way in certain situations and then in a contrary manner in others." (Thanks Google). 
A self employed person will tell you everything in the world is perfect, they'll plaster on a smile, get your work done and soldier on. You'll not see the other side of things where they're exhausted and just haven't got the energy to go on any more. These people will stand at shows and events for 10 hours, smiling at you and making you feel welcome, answer your questions and you wouldn't be able to tell that they are in mental and physical pain, they're exhausted and all they want to do is curl up and sleep.

The self employed don't have the luxury of a clocking off time or a set weekend. Not really. If it seems that way to the outside world it's probably because the self employed person has just pulled a 90 hour week so they could enjoy a rare long weekend. They'll then have to do it all again the following week just to catch up.

I've been thinking about the mask of a self employed person for a very long time and it's nice to see, after talking with other self employed people that i'm "normal". You will not hear me saying that very often.

So, this Christmas season, why not give a self employed person a hug. Because I guarantee they'll need it, even if they are smiling and laughing. They will be wearing a mask, because that's what they do. They will tell you everything is ok - not because they want to lie but it's easier that way.

Much Love
Miss Make It Happen

Twitter - Facebook

Oooops

I was recently let out on my own.

Not just to the shops or out for a walk but to a full 2 days at a show. Running stands and helping with events is part of what I do for a living so all should have been ok. Unfortunately, I seemed to be more organised then was actually needed.

I turned up to the event early. 24 hours early. I called my friend/client who I was working for. yep - 24 hours early. F*CK

 I knew that to any normal person this wouldn't be much of a problem but i'm a professional - This shouldn't have happened. I should know the days of the week, I'm 31 for heavens sake. Rather than try and hide my shame of messing up, I took to social media.

I let the world know what i'd done wrong. It was a release and I didn't feel so stupid. People I know had a few fun digs but overall, no one else cared.

It just goes to show that even though you might think you've made a big mistake, others may not feel the same. Give yourself a break and laugh at your mix ups - no one died and You probably didn't just press the red button and destroy half of mankind.

Live and learn. It's the best way to be.

Until next time
Look after yourself
Miss Make It Happen

Facebook - Twitter

Just believe in yourself a little more.

"It makes me sad that some people don't see how truly great they are and how they've made so many people happy by what they do." - a recent Facebook status i wrote on my private page. 

I'd spent the day with a truly remarkable gentleman. Someone who for years, along with other family members, had followed his work and was honoured enough to meet many years later. I'm now lucky enough to call him a friend, someone I trust and someone I like having in my life.

After a couple of hours of telling each other we don't push ourselves to our full potential it dawned on me that this person, someone who I admired before I even met, someone who is known to many people, who has given and sacrificed - has the same problem as me! From my side of the fence, if he agrees or not i'm not sure, we are both a little lost. 

Now, we know where we need to get to, or where we'd like to be. We know we have the strength to do it. We have the profile / platforms / contacts to help us. There is just something we're missing or we've lost sight of. We're going on the hunt. 

I think this applies to a lot of people in general. We might be scared of success, of failure, of trying or some other excuse but our main obstacles we put in our own way are made by us. It's easy for us to build an obstacle on our own, as humans we're great at that but I can tell you now, you're going to need back up to help pull those obstacles down. 

My suggestion - build a team. people who you can really trust, people who know and understand you and all your strengths, weaknesses and quirks. Go out with a, metaphorically speaking, sledge hammer and go smash your way to success.

My friend and I are doing that next year. The rest of 2015 will be used to plot, plan and scheme. We're going to help push and make each other accountable. I'm looking forward to seeing what happens, even if it does involve getting a size 9 boot up my arse. 

Until Next Time
Be You
Miss Make It Happen

Come say Hi on Facebook & The Twitterz

  

I'm off to Mars!

By now half of the world, if not more, probably knows about the ISIS attacks over the last week in various countries across the planet. 

It is truly devastating when innocent people have to die because some people willed it to be. 

I know they had their reasons behind what they done, there will be people who agree with the deaths and a majority who do not. 

I've been thinking about it a lot over the last few days. Keeping track on what the media spoon feed us in to believing, watching videos from (apparently) ISIS themselves, watching Anonymous threaten to track down everyone involve and watch bombs fly east with messages of "from Paris, with love" scrawled on the side. 

I'm not highly educated in regards to the reasoning behind it all. I don't follow politics or religion to any agree where I can appropriately comment but what I do know is how this whole situation has made me feel. 

That's... Scared. 

I live 13 miles from the centre of London on the borders of East London and Essex. On the train today going in to London I was so nervous and all I could think about were the 7/7 bombings. 

When those bombings happened I worked in the recruitment industry. The night before I'd sent 100+ men start times to work in  London, unknowing what was about to unfold the next day. When news hit I cried, because I felt scared and guilty. All I done was my job just like any other day but if I hadn't made those calls those men would have been guaranteed safe. I spent countless hours tracking all of them down. Luckily all was fine. A few friends and acquaintances had been effected in a minor way but as a whole everyone got out ok. 

Those memories will live with me forever and now I hold on to the fear of history repeating itself. I'm scared of what ISIS potentially have planned next, I'm scared of what countries and organisations will do in retaliation and I'm scared of the consequences of what it will do to the human race as a whole. 

Anyone fancy leaving on a rocket ship and taking our chances on Mars? 

Peace out.

Look after yourself. 

Miss Make It Happen. 

Do You Remember?

I’m “only” 31 years old so I can only go back so far but do you remember in the 80s and 90s when every shop, high street, pub and train station sold poppy's? 

November would rock around and you’d start to see the little boxes appear next to the shop tills, and The British Legion and Scouts would be out in force selling poppy’s on every high street and high foot traffic area. 

Fast forward 20 odd years and I’ve spent the last 2 weeks unsuccessfully looking for a poppy. Not one shop, station, pub i’ve been in has sold them! I had to spend Remembrance Sunday without my poppy. Thankfully, I found a scarf with poppy’s on so I did try to do my bit. A number of my friends have had similar problems so i know i’m not alone. 

I’ve been thinking about why this might be and have come up with various reasons for why poppy’s seem to have become an endangered species but I just can’t put my finger on the real reason. Has anyone else had similar problems? Do you know why I can’t find a poppy?

1 - We just don’t care any more

2 - my geographical location

3 - we’re scared of offending some one

4 - we’re forgotten why we buy those little pieces of red paper stuck to green and black plastic.

i’d hope that it wasn’t number 1 and 4 but I have a sneaky suspicion it might have some thing to do with number 2 and 3.

 I’m on my way to have lunch with a Veteran and I’m actually quite embarrassed that i’m turning up without my poppy. I know he’ll understand but its not the point. Maybe Euston station or the surrounding shops can be my saving grace? keep your fingers crossed for me.

Please let me know how easy / hard you’ve found getting your hands on a poppy. i’m quite interested to know.

*UPDATE* I managed to buy a paper and metal poppy from London Liverpool Street Station before my meeting. Winning

Until next time

Much love

Miss Make It Happen.  

Self Employment, Holidays and body image. *panic panic panic*

I've been on holiday recently, my family got together to see my cousin (pictured below) get married. It was fab.

Whilst I was away I pretty much stepped away from work totally and spent some time concentrating on me. It's been about 14 years since i've been able to switch off properly. At first It was horrible. I kept eyeing my phone suspiciously, wondering what was going on back home.

After a couple of days I realised that if the world was coming to an end someone would pick up the phone and call me. I didn't need to worry about emails or social media, they would all be there when I got back.

As I started to relax, I realised that I looked at myself in the mirror more. Strange I know but its true. At first, It was glimpses of myself in a bikini. I didn't want to spend too much time looking, I am most definitely not beach body ready. The more i stepped away from work stresses and social media the more i stopped to look at myself. After a few days I was standing in front of the mirror having a good old nose. My views at first were critical of myself - big thighs, chubby belly, dark circles under eyes etc etc etc. Towards the end of the end of the holiday I was shocked to realise that I was now looking at myself through different eyes. Instead of focussing on my chubby belly, I saw a curvy hourglass waist. Instead of big thighs, I saw a curvy butt. And the subtle tan I now had was making me look healthier and less tired.

This got me thinking, do work stresses and social media really have an impact on the way we see ourselves? Do we judge ourselves more when we carry a weight on our shoulders? It's quite possibly true.

I've decided that as with immediate effect that i'll be taking a day off, at least, every week. no work, no emails, no social media and if i can blag it, no contact with people. 24 hours to learn to love myself, to read that book that's been on the shelf for the last 3 years, to eat what I want, take a nap and just be me. Do you dare to do the same?

Until Next Time
Look after yourselves
Much Love
Miss Make It Happen

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I. AM. ME.

To my family I am someone. To my friends I am another. 

I wear many hats and I am one person. 

I can be loving, I can be an arsehole. 

I can be moody, I can be hilarious. 

I am a rock, I crumble. 

I've had my heart broken in times of weakness, I have picked up the pieces in times of strength. 

I am charitable, I hate sharing. 

I'm a good person, I am a bad person. 

I am a lover, I am a fighter

I've been proud of myself and i've been ashamed

I've done great things and things I wish I could forget

I like to be alone, i like to be the centre of attention. 

I like people to think I have a heart of stone,  I just want to be cuddled and loved. 

I will hold your hand in times of trouble whilst looking away to hide my own tears. 

I sacrifice for others, I am selfish

I am the definition of contradiction. 

I am....a lot of things, I am one thing. I. AM. ME. 

through all my strengths, weaknesses, pros, cons, successes and failures, I try to be true to me. 

I am Dee 

xXx

Ask the questions.

Can you....?

Do you.....?

Will you....? 

Simple questions, right? Wrong. 

When we're in a situation where we feel threatened or scared of the outcome we can start to stress out. These simple questions then become a nightmare to ask. We probably deserve the answers to make our lives easier but we find the situation so difficult. 

Lets break things down...

You want to know the answer to something. Whats the weather going to be like (easy), What dress size is your friend? (little more awkward), How do you feel about me? (Everyone go in to hiding! quick, run)

It really is simple. To get the answers -YOU MUST ASK THE QUESTIONS!

Sometimes the unknown can be harder to handle than the truth. We could be going to an outside show, buying someone a gift or embarking on a new relationship. not knowing the answers can literally drive a person to distraction and insanity. 

I know its hard but sometimes we need to just ask the questions. The not knowing will always be harder to handle than the truth. For you see, the unknown is a bit like the universe - no ending, a lot of theories and no one can hear you when you scream. With the truth it is either good, bad or ugly but at least you can come up with a solution to the answer, accept it and move on with a smile or a tear. 

Whatever situation you find yourself in - You deserve to know the truth. This will help you plan for the future.

Enough waffle. 

catch you all later,

Miss Make It Happen xxx

Don't for get to come play on Twitter & Facebook

The 'C' Word.

We're not talking cunt here.

Nope, it's a whole lot worse than that.

It's CHRISTMAS in September.

You'll all know how I like to keep my blogs strictly professional and rant free (LOL) but this is a god damn fucking joke.

We all know that i'm not a christmas fan but when people start pushing it in my face from September all I want to do is track them down, smash them in to the floor and beat them to death with a double ended dildo. Seriously, DO NOT PUSH ME PEOPLE!

We've got approximately 3 god damn months between now and the season of debt, guilt and commercialisation. These 3 months include MY BIRTHDAY, halloween, and bonfire night. All 3 of which are, in my opinion, much more fun.

The big fat judgemental bastard in a red suit isn't due for about 99 days (so FB friends keep telling me) so lets drop the shit and focus on the now. We live but once so lets not rush through the next 3 months in a blur of red and green tinsel.

If you really must start to get excited early then please remember those who are not quite as fortunate. When you're out planning what to eat, what to wear, what to buy for presents, why not stop and plan to help one of the 000's of homeless military personnel, a disadvantaged child or someone else who doesn't quite see christmas through the same haze of warm food, family hugs and fairy lights.

Look closely through your FB friend list and think hard. The likelihood is there are parents on there that are already starting to worry because they're not going to be able to give their children the things they desire. There will be people on there that will spend christmas alone and there will be people crippled by debt just to 'keep up with the jones' '.

Well my grinch-ness has come out early this year. rant over. you may all get back on with your lives.

Just remember - Don't be a cunt this christmas, think of others.

Much Love
Miss Make It Happen

Dee xx

It never rains, It Pours.

Life is hard.

You'll be plodding along one minute and the next thing you know 3 family/friends have died, you get bitten by a spider, and you're forced to go to the gym, you lose your only pair of contact lenses and the hospital want to 'Keep an eye on that'.  Oh! and I have no kitchen or bathroom due to building works at my house. Its been a busy fortnight.

All in all, i'm a pretty positive and strong person. I try not to get bothered by much and I'm great at keeping a cool head in stressful situations. This last fortnight has been different. I'd had enough, given up and wanted to be left alone.

Over the last couple of weeks i've realised a few things -
1) I'm not as hard as I make out
2) I value company just as much as I value alone time
3) Crying helps
4) No one lives forever
5) It's ok to take time out when you need it.

When all of the above happened in quick succession it was hard to cope. what do I focus on? How can I be positive and sad? What's the point?
I'll be lying if I said I took it on the chin and carried on. Half the time I did, The other half I hid under a blanket on the sofa and watched Disney movies or some random tear -jerker.

The point to this rambling pity party for one is -

Life will throw you curve balls. Stand strong, focus and hit that M*ther F*cker out of the park.
Just do it when you're ready.

I'm lucky to have a second to none support network, the ones that knew what was going on were amazing. They left me alone but dropped in from time to time with a little wave, a story, a random picture of their dinner or just a nudge. (Thank you Guys and Girls - You know who you are xx)

So, if life is throwing you multiple curve balls at the minute and you think you can't cope, Just give yourself a break, hide behind a blanket and come back fighting when you are ready.

You've got this - YOU CAN DO IT.

Much Love
Dee
Miss Make It Happen.

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Un-Social Media

My friend invited me over for the weekend for a few days of fun, Fizz and hot tub madness.

We're currently sat at a table, at 10:30pm, both in front of our computers, talking to each other.... on FACEBOOK! seriously, has the world gone mad, or it is just us?

We've been so sucked in to being 'social' that we've forgotten what the word actually means. Naturally, I thought i would correct our bad ways and erm... write this blog.

A friend of mine likes 'digital down time' and is currently on a week long 'digital detox'. I seriously take my hat off to him. I tried it once and if i'm honest after about 6 hours I would have happily given my right leg to gain access to the bitter sweet world that is social media. You can read his blog HERE

The very thing that is making our world connected and smaller is in actual fact destroying our actual conversation and 1-2-1 human interaction.

You've no doubt heard this rant before from someone else so i'll spare you anymore blah blah blah but answer me this...

Could you do 24hours (or longer) without any digital interaction?

Comment below or tweet me @MIH_Dee and let me know. If you say you can, lets set ourselves a challenge. losers donate £$ to charity. Are you in?

Much Love
Dee
Miss Make It Happen.

London - The Greatest City In The World.

There - I've said it. London is the greatest city on Earth.

I've lived in London all my life and I love it. I live in greater (east) London so I still get the buzz but i'm far enough out so i get some trees and grass scattered around me. I'm about 13 miles from the centre.

It came to my attention a couple of years ago that even though i like to travel abroad and all over the UK, i was still a tourist in my own city. So now I spend more time looking around and seeing London for it really is.

At the weekend it was my friends birthday. We decided that we'd wait until the Monday and have a day out. We went to a great little cafe in West London for Afternoon Tea and Fizz. It was a great start to the day. If you fancy afternoon tea at the Urban Meadow Cafe click HERE. Great selection of tea, cakes and sandwiches.

Next up we decided to take a walk through the park. As we entered the gate we came across the Santander Hire Bikes - AKA Boris Bikes. Neither of us had been on a bike since we were kids so we decided to give it a go. For £2 you get full 24 hour access. Neither of us are gym bunnies but we really enjoyed it and 6 miles later we were in SE.London ready for our evening entertainment. I was rather impressed that i didn't get squashed by a bus although there was a moment that I lost my cool with a Ferrari.

Just up the road from Borough there is a little shop that opens up out back to the most wonderful cinema EVER! Click HERE to learn more about Roxy Bar and Screen. you start off in a bar and then through some thick red, velvet curtains you're taken to the main cinema room. Instead of chairs there are rows on sofas and instead of popcorn you are served dinner (3 yummy courses in our case) direct to your lap. They only show one film per night so check them out before you.

We biked back to Tower of London after the film and just as we were crossing the big junction, my knee gave way. A re-occuring injury decided to raise its ugly head. game over on the bike front but still a great day all in all.

If you're ever in London, please make sure you stop and look around. Don't seek out the main attractions, look in to the back streets and that's where you'll find the real gems.

Much Love
Dee
Miss Make It Happen

Haven't done one of these blog things for a while

This will be my first blog of 2015. It's June.

I've not been lazy or anything like that, In fact, quite the opposite. I'm writing a book, to be released later in 2015 and every time I have a good idea for a blog i realise that it would make a great part of the book. Dilemma! So, I decided to focus on the book. Truth is, It was a massive mistake. 

By not blogging, I started to reduce my reach and audience. The same reach and audience who will, hopefully,  buy the book later in the year. This got me thinking a little further. What other compromises have cost me my goal or taken me in the wrong direction??

Choosing outfits, choosing friends, what to eat, to take on that new client or not? Every choice we make we not only gain something, we sacrifice something too. 

Now what??

I decided to go back to basics. Discover what my goals and values are. Now i have those clear in my head I can make the right decisions, not what I THINK are the right decisions. I'm not a simple person, I have actually been known to have more than one 'clever cookie' moment and i've now realised that sometimes you don't need to make a choice, you can have the best of both words. 

Great news for you lot. You get me blogging AND you get a book at the end of the year. 

*Cue screams of terror and people burning their laptops all over the world*

The moral of this rather oddly written blog is that

1) You need to know who you are and where you're going to make the best decisions

2) Sometimes you don't have to choose - you can have it all

3) Cookies are yummy. 

Until next time...

Much Love

Miss Make It Happen

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