Wednesday 23 March 2016

Second Chances

I'm not usually one for second chances. I am however one to hold a life long grudge, even if it's to my own detriment. It's not a quality that I admire in myself and to be honest i'm working on changing my outlook on chances and grudges.

I think i'm going soft in my old age. That or i've just started to realise that not everyone is perfect like me, and you might just make mistakes every now and then ;) My gramps was one for a grudge. If you got put on his naughty list, you stayed there. If i'm honest, I think I might have got it from him. I've got a lot of myself from my Gramps.

So, back to second chances. Recently, I was put in a position that made me think and question my own reasoning. A long time ago I put my trust into someone and I got burned. It was bad enough that my friends also carried the burden too. Years later our paths crossed again and I realised how much of a grudge I was carrying. I also realised 2 other things. 1) How heavy this burden had been to carry for all these years and 2) how much I didn't want it any more. I was done with the grudge, the hate and if i'm honest, I wanted this person back in to my life.

A friend of mine had recently lost her husband, someone who I considered a friend too. Scrap that, they always have and always will be like family to me. It made me realise, at least reinforced, my belief that life is too short. So we made the decision there and then, after visiting J's grave, that I would contact the person and we'd talk it through. Before we met up, I contacted the friends that were there to pick up the pieces the first time. It wasn't a great conversation but they agreed that it was my choice and whatever happened they had my back.

I also carried out a basic online survey. 50% of people said Yes, They give second chances. 14% said Nope and 36% said it depended on the situation. Thats 86% of people who would give, or at least consider giving someone a second chance. I was a bit shocked it was so high.

So, I bit the bullet and hoped I wasn't about to make another big mistake. Turns out there really are 3 sides to every story and after long discussions, honesty and a bit of a laugh the past was finally buried and boy does it feel good.

I'll be making a conscious effort to spot the grudges i've been holding for too long from now on. I'll either talk to the person or just let them go.

No one wakes up in the morning and decides they'll intentionally hurt someone. sometimes a mistake is just a mistake. Surely, everyone deserves a second chance?

I'd love to hear your thoughts on second chances.

As Always,
Much Love
Miss Make It Happen

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