If you were to meet me on the street you’d think i’m confident. I’m good, no, i’m GREAT at playing the part. You’d think i’m a social butterfly who has no trouble networking a room, talking in front of strangers or just being myself. The truth is. I find all that ‘stuff’ hard work and somewhat exhausting.
In todays society, confidence is a must have accessory for every man, woman and child. If you’re not naturally confident you have to pretend you are. If that isn’t hard enough then the same society is telling you you need to eat less, eat more, wear make up, look natural, dress your age, eat this, don’t eat that, speak up, don’t have an opinion, be slim, have curves. Phew! I’m exhausted just thinking about that list.
In todays society, confidence is a must have accessory for every man, woman and child. If you’re not naturally confident you have to pretend you are. If that isn’t hard enough then the same society is telling you you need to eat less, eat more, wear make up, look natural, dress your age, eat this, don’t eat that, speak up, don’t have an opinion, be slim, have curves. Phew! I’m exhausted just thinking about that list.
I’m an only child so I naturally spent a lot of my time alone growing up. I have grown to love being alone. It’s ME time, it’s quiet and I don’t have to worry about entertaining people or wondering what they think of my ice cream stained PJs as i’m stretched out on the sofa reading a book.
Over the years my confidence has taken some hefty knocks. People telling me I’m fat, ugly, not good enough. We’ve all been there. This is not a sob story but more of an awakening. I started dating Mike in April. He's literally turned my world upside down. He treats me like an absolute princess and never fails to tell me how beautiful I look, how proud he is of me or just simply that he loves me. Over the last few months my self confidence has changed. Yes, yes, I know. I shouldn’t let someone else control the way I feel. Blah blah blah. But do you know what. This isn’t about him controlling my emotions but more helping me fix my broken bits. By handing me all the shards and fragments of my previously shattered confidence, he’s given me a platform to rebuild myself from the inside out. A platform I have complete control over. I'm very grateful for that.
As my confidence grew, I got back in contact with a photographer who has been talking about shooting me for a few years. I took the plunge and agreed to the shoot. We started off with some fun and business like poses and then I became adventurous. Next thing I know, I’ve agreed to a boudoir shoot. My confidence was literally exploding from all the fun and excitement. I wouldn’t have dreamed doing this before and at the same time I hadn’t felt so liberated or beautiful in such a long time. I went from corsets, tutus and heels to butt naked wrapped in a sheet.
I’ve since named Mikaela Morgan the OFFICIAL photographer for MMIH and we’ve done a really great podcast explaining about how these kinds of shoots can really help people with their self confidence. The woman is an absolute magician with a camera and i’m so happy that I finally stepped outside my comfort zone and let her work her magic.
I’ve been able to draw a line under the past and i’m looking forward to a future full of Love, Laughter and REAL confidence.
(Pictures owned by M Morgan and D Atkins)
